July 2011
37 posts
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To Make You Feel My Love
“I’d go hungry, I’d go black and blue
And I’d go crawling down the avenue
No, there’s nothing that I wouldn’t do
To make you feel my love.”
I wish I had something witty, something profound to say about this song, but it just makes me cry like a child with a scraped knee every time. I have a hard time deciding whose version is my favorite, though I...
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“I used to be a big fan of Dr. Who. Or, at least what I thought counted as a big...”
– David Mitchell
Dear Miss Fagan: Fre-Ne-Mies, Who When You're Down... →
dearmissfagan:
Dear Miss Fagan, I hate my friends. I just feel like all of my friends are really shitty and fake and don’t actually like me for who I am. We’ve known each other for a long time and it feels like I can’t escape from the situation, especially since my boyfriend shares most of them…I don’t…
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It's About Keeping It Classy, Always Keeping It...
Him: Well, they don’t like garlic, for example.
Me: Then they’ll never be able to eat anything I cook!
Him: Yeah, that’s the idea.
Me: How can someone not like garlic, though?! It’s, like, nature’s crack!
Him: You don’t like zucchini, and that’s nature’s dildo.
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An Atheist's Nursery Rhyme
A child asks the questions for which there’s no reply Am I important? What is God? What happens when we die? And so we tell them stories, and though we may believe Certainty and guarantee are things we can’t achieve So are we wrong? Is it best, when pried by two doe-eyes, To say the things we wish were true, pretend they are not lies? For what we fear, yet can’t explain, is...
sofaloveseat asked: A question for you: Have you ever forayed into the realm of spoken-word poetry? I love open mics, and you just seem like someone who would be great at it.
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Why Don't You Write More About Paris, Though??
So, a large portion of my Ask Box consists of questions about why I don’t write about my city that much. They don’t seem irked, as there is certainly an extensive amount out there about Paris to read for anyone who is interested, but genuinely curious. And I get that—before I came, I was sure that my writing was going to be an endless stream-of-consciousness rant about croissants...
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This Actually Happened Last Night
So last night I had this dream where Jon Hamm, in full Don Draper garb, was coming onto me in his fabulous New York apartment. I politely refused his advances and told him how much I respected his marriage, especially in Hollywood, and how much I liked his wife’s work in Kissing Jessica Stein.
He kept telling me to shh and that she was out of town, and I kept saying that she was lovely in a...
Dear Miss Fagan: Save Me, I'm Drowning →
dearmissfagan:
Dear Miss Fagan, I had my first “OHEMGHEE I’M ENGAGED” phone call today. And so that was really cool. You know, it’s your first friend that’s like, YOUR AGE (23-24 ish) and they are embarking on this amazing new journey together to start this whole new little family. I mean, pause for a…
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Anonymous asked: lately i have been wondering if it is possible to change anyone's mind about anything, ever, but here goes.
your criticisms of insane feminists are completely legitimate. there is nothing constructive about hating men, oppressing feminine women, or what have you. but not all feminists are butch and irrational. the basic premise of feminism is that women are people too - and as...
your criticisms of insane feminists are completely legitimate. there is nothing constructive about hating men, oppressing feminine women, or what have you. but not all feminists are butch and irrational. the basic premise of feminism is that women are people too - and as...
Anonymous asked: I am just curious, because you posted that quote from your "Boyfriend Applications" article... how did you meet your boyfriend?
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“She laughs at my dreams, but I dream about her laughter.”
– Just the Girl, The Click Five
Okay—moment of truth. I had the world’s worst taste in music for all of my formative years, and still hold a soft spot for all that is boy band, Sum 41, and terrible rap.
And here I am, having a particularly nostalgic moment while working on a...
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“I have a tendency to date engineers, mathematicians, pre-med students, and...”
– Chelsea Fagan, Now Accepting Boyfriend Applications (via planetickets)
Tee hee. Tee hee hee.
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http://antifeminism.tumblr.com/ →
This. Blog.
I cannot recommend it enough—they are thoughtful, caring, interested, and respectful, all while keeping their own ideologies and convictions. Wonderful.
I am so thoroughly refreshed to read intelligent, opinionated women who do not seek to demean or demonize men, invent/exaggerate problems to establish a permanent state of victimhood, degrade women who choose family life over a...
“Feminists who ceaselessly inveigh against their own oppression by men (often...”
– F. Carolyn Graglia (via sofaloveseat, antifeminism)
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Anonymous asked: Chelsea,
I deeply admire your ability to so eloquently convey your thoughts with such a strong voice! You seem to be a very smart girl with intelligent opinions, so I am really interested in hearing/reading your thoughts on girls who simply get by (or think they get by) using their looks alone. Specifically, girls who seek attention by posting half nudey pictures on the internet and...
I deeply admire your ability to so eloquently convey your thoughts with such a strong voice! You seem to be a very smart girl with intelligent opinions, so I am really interested in hearing/reading your thoughts on girls who simply get by (or think they get by) using their looks alone. Specifically, girls who seek attention by posting half nudey pictures on the internet and...
Anonymous asked: Hellllloooo favorite TC author.
I leave for france in ten days and I am having the biggest internal dilemma of what to bring clothes wise that I almost hate myself. I'm staying for one month, two weeks in Honfleur, and two weeks in St. Maximin. Upon internet research, every fucking website says, "NO SHORTS, NO WOMEN HERE WEAR SHORTS. WHITE SNEAKERS ARE BAD" Uhhhh kay? But...
I leave for france in ten days and I am having the biggest internal dilemma of what to bring clothes wise that I almost hate myself. I'm staying for one month, two weeks in Honfleur, and two weeks in St. Maximin. Upon internet research, every fucking website says, "NO SHORTS, NO WOMEN HERE WEAR SHORTS. WHITE SNEAKERS ARE BAD" Uhhhh kay? But...
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Oh, You Know, Just A Normal Thursday
So yesterday I woke up and was doing my usual morning internetting, which includes (of course) a nice scroll-through of Tumblr, and I see someone has posted an audio of that song Gucci Gucci by Kreayshawn. I listen to it, and, as addressed in my previous post, finally learned where all of the white girls on my various social media networks were getting their quotes.
In any case, the song was...
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!!!!!!!
Someone on my dashboard put up that Kreayshawn video.
NOW I KNOW WHERE EVERY GIRL ON THE INTERNET HAS BEEN GETTING HER STUPID QUOTES FROM FOR THE LAST THREE MONTHS.
No joke, every line was like, “Where have I heard this before?”
Oh, that’s right. EVERYWHERE. All the time.
Ugh.
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A Beat Poem For The Surly Woman Who Works At My...
You
Over there
Killing the ambiance.
Yeah, you.
What are you doing here?
Where’s my bakery lady?
The rotund, smiling woman.
The one who calls me “Little America”
The one who gives me an extra mini brioche.
You
Are rude.
You look at me like I’m wasting your time.
You give me the soggiest sandwiches.
You have acrylic nails.
Do those even exist in France?
If you...
human-carbine-deactivated201108 asked: Your writing is seriously (and most of time, hilariously) wonderful.
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You Know Who You Are
To answer some of the rather salty, choice questions in my Ask Box whose details I’d rather not get into, and also in the interest of saving space on your dashboards, here are some answers to questions I’ve received in the past month in somewhat reasonable order. Hopefully you all can do some reverse engineering and figure out which questions are yours.
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Death threats were the...
I Keep Trying To Blog About My Personal Life
And it never stops feeling super duper weird.
I don’t know—even pictures feel like too much. I guess it’s because I HAVE HUNDREDS OF DOZENS OF FOLLOWERS.
I am too popular to divulge my sweet, sweet morsels of personal drama.
Womp womp.
