May 2011
88 posts
greeniegreenie asked: This is not a question, just a compliment - you're the first person on Tumblr I actually like; your posts are really entertaining; you know how to write and not just repost random Google image searches and you've got a sly sense of humour. Keep it up please.
May 31st
1 note
7 tags
I swear to God,
If I have to hear one more person talk about how awesome New York City is, I’m going to get an ulcer. Perhaps this is just because I’ve found out another good friend is moving to the Big Apple and had to suffer through a tirade about its tragic beauty, but I’ve felt this way for a while. Hey, I live in fucking PARIS and I find myself insufferable if I talk more than occasionally...
May 31st
25 notes
4 tags
Distance Is Relative
Lighter than the second glass of wine outside the party, Lighter than the feeling of a child on your chest, Lighter than the stirrings of the sun after the winter, Lighter than the hand on a 16-year-old breast. Farther than the river runs the map just like a scar, Farther than the mountains, looking like your crumpled sheets, Farther than the girl would let you go after the dance, Farther than the...
May 30th
11 notes
1 tag
May 30th
5 notes
Anonymous asked: Here's a question.

Why are you so effin b-e-a-u-tiful?
May 29th
5 tags
May 29th
8 notes
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A Hypothesis Is An Educated Guess
I want to put you on a cold metal table Under unforgiving fluorescent light I want to look at everything, the ugly bits The parts you try to downplay. I want to take a magnifying glass To every rise and fall of every little flaw Everything someone called you ugly for Everything you hate. I want to run my hands along it The imperfection The dark underbelly I want to kiss the parts you...
May 28th
11 notes
4 tags
May 28th
4 notes
May 28th
legyenmalna asked: that last writing... it was beautiful.
thanks for sharing!
May 28th
5 tags
Premature Nostalgia
It was the one day that July that let you have the windows down. The air was thin and clean, something the humid Maryland summer doesn’t often allow for, something that made me feel like, for the first time in months, I could really think. Driving a little bit below the speed limit on a two-lane road that stretched on through two counties, he moved a little bit in the passenger seat and I...
May 28th
5 notes
Anonymous asked: Did you go to UMD? (I ask because you follow Alex Baca.) I'm always shocked when people escape the cultural backwater that is College Park.
May 28th
1 note
alexbaca asked: I am, admittedly, in a terrible mood right now, but whatever you were trying to say came off as fairly judgmental. (Maybe it was sarcasm? Who knows. Humor over the Internet fails pretty often.) And that's fine—I've gotten it before. Anyway, you and I are both in positions to use the various alternatives to driving that cities (Paris and D.C. alike) have to offer, which is great. I...
May 27th
1 note
2 tags
“Wear a helmet.”
– The best horoscope my boyfriend has ever gotten.
May 26th
2 notes
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May 26th
2 notes
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May 26th
7 notes
4 tags
One Should Not Watch Aladdin While Sober
Princess Jasmine: I am not a prize to be won! Drunk Friend Yelling At the TV: Bitch, this is ancient Persia, yes you are.
May 25th
27 notes
2 tags
May 25th
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May 25th
2 notes
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SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION TIME
Hey, sexy new followers. You’re looking extremely sexy and interesting. http://twitter.com/#!/Chelsea_Fagan I also have a Twitter, go validate me over there.
May 25th
1 note
4 tags
LATFH Comes To Paris
So I was walking around near Gare de Lyon with two friends, when one of them sees a friend of his hanging outside of this shop that is in the middle of being renovated/constructed. There was this well-designed sign in the window explaining the mission of the place—it’s essentially an online glasses shop with a charity tied in. The guy that came out was barefoot with a low-cut V-neck...
May 25th
9 notes
Anonymous asked: "Come to Me" is by Sue Saniel Elkind
May 25th
Anonymous asked: I don't have anything to ask, but I had to tell you just how entertaining I found your articles on Thought Catalog.

They are so entertaining.

I first read The Six Most Egregiously Overrated Celebrities about a month ago. Your summary of reoccurring themes throughout Taylor Swift songs... "She likes a boy and there is some unforeseen difficulty, which...
May 25th
3 tags
“Come to me looking as you did fifty years ago arms outstretched and I will be...”
– Come To Me, a poem by an author whose name I’ve sadly lost, found towards the back of a book of women’s poetry from a Lit class. If anyone knows who did this, please tell me, it is my favorite poem of all time.
May 24th
2 notes
5 tags
I Can't Be the Only One This Happens To...
I was on Facebook just now and two separate people popped up on my news feed and I had no clue who they were. At first I thought it was one of my lame hippie friends who are always turning their names into something weird again, like Tenenbaum Lemongrass or whatever the hell is cooler than Mike McBoringWhiteGuy. But no, I straight up had no recollection of these two people. I guess I met them...
May 24th
6 notes
1 tag
“This is America. Pick a job and then become the person that does it.”
– Bobbie Barrett, Mad Men
May 24th
6 notes
exuberantzest asked: Hi! I recently started reading Thought Catalog and I came across one of your posts - immediately I fell in love with your writing style. Thanks for making me happy with your writing! :)
May 24th
3 tags
The question I find myself asking so very often in...
the question for which I am not prepared to accept that “because” is a sufficient answer, the question that nibbles and scratches at the reasonable, logical parts of my brain like a tiny rodent: WHY IS THAT WOMAN NOT WEARING ANY PANTS?
May 22nd
3 notes
5 tags
May 22nd
4 notes
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A Conscious Commenter
I’ve been commenting on work online a lot lately. A lot of it on Thought Catalog, obviously, because I want to support the publication I work for—but beyond that, I try to leave something behind on every piece I take the time to read. I never used to. Even if I really liked or hated something, I never really saw the value of leaving a few dozen characters of text below the piece to...
May 22nd
3 notes
2 tags
May 20th
4 tags
These Things Always Slip My Mind
Me: I'm staying in tonight.
Eli: Tomorrow?
Me: Plans. How about Saturday night?
Eli: Can't, rapture.
Me: Oh, shit, right.
May 19th
9 notes
4 tags
May 19th
13 notes
5 tags
It's The Little Things, Really...
So, this is possibly the most irrelevant piece of information ever, but it makes me smile whenever I think about it. I was out with some friends at a bar last weekend and we were talking about a variety of things, and somehow the Boy Scouts came up…apparently the French are very familiar with the organization, but refer to them as…wait for it… the “Boy Scoots.” ...
May 18th
4 notes
firdausazhar asked: hi chelsea how was you day?
May 18th
Anonymous asked: Hi! I'm staying in France for a month to learn some French/brush up on it. How difficult would you say it is to meet people (I'm 19), and how do you suggest I go about doing so?
May 18th
melindas asked: Hey, I see you are currently sifting through your mass of messages and if you never get around to responding to this I would be understanding, but I was just wondering how you started writing for TC. Your stuff is great, thoroughly enjoyable.
May 18th
Anonymous asked: CHELSEA YOU LIVE IN PARIS AND YOU TUMBL AND WRITE FOR THOUGHT CATALOG YOU'RE SUCH A FUCKING HIPSTER

srsly though did you know you're a hipster
May 18th
5 tags
Love you, too, Mom
Mom: Do you even miss America?!
Me: Not really.
Mom: WHAT?!?!?!?!
Me: What?
Mom: Well, just so you know, America doesn't miss you either. Obama hasn't mentioned you in weeks.
Dad In the Background: Weeks!
May 17th
8 notes
3 tags
May 17th
3 notes
Urbaniak: Oops →
jamesurbaniak: “In life, events tend to follow patterns. People who commit crimes tend to be criminals, for example. Can anyone tell me any economists who have been convicted of violent sex crimes? Can anyone tell me of any heads of nonprofit international economic entities who have ever been charged and… I am getting into endless debates with people in France about America’s...
May 17th
952 notes
symmetricalface asked: Keep writing and thinking -- pay no mind to the response. You did not make a mistake by writing or publishing that article. It isn't important if I agree with you -- what is important is that you made me take the time to think about if I agree with you.
May 17th
Anonymous asked: Ooooooooooh Chelsea has a boyfriend!!!!!! Is it weird that I feel like I know you but I only read your writing online? I'm so creepy, I know...anyway, congrats! I'm happy for you.

Gotta ask, does he meet the requirements of the Boyfriend Application? Or is he the complete opposite?
May 17th
Anonymous asked: wow you really hate woman, don't you?
May 17th
3 notes
Sorry about the questions, guys,
I’m trying to deal with this:
May 17th
Anonymous asked: Have you eaten a croissant while pooping yet?
May 17th
gorizza asked: I'm with you on the poetry thing. I hate women too!
May 17th
kaylaatwell asked: I am so living vicariously through you. I am a college student, fluent in french that would someday LOVE to live there. I am just wondering what you're doing over there.. studying? living? thanks (:
May 17th
daneegarone asked: How hard is it being you?
May 17th
neverendingmundanity-deactivate asked: I'm not exactly sure what my writing style is I'm not ready to write a book, I haven't lived long enough for that just yet but I can write short pieces that make people think and I have no idea how to go about organising a portfolio...I'm sorry if I'm being a pain.
May 17th
1 note